To me, being a Christian means following Christ. It also means being indwelt by His Spirit. We are in Him and He is in us. Spiritual time-space is weird that way.
About a year after becoming a Christian, I was fully disgusted with my inability to walk the walk. It seems so easy. A few minutes bible reading, a few seconds prayer, tell anyone who asks, don't sin. What could be simpler?
I was a good and disciplined student. I was raised in a conservative Chinese family. Genetically and socially, I was predisposed to be obedient and to stay out of trouble. Working hard and delaying gratification was bred into my bones. Generations of ancestors had far more difficult duties.
But still....
So one night, I got on my knees and asked God to take away whatever it was inside me that was stopping me from doing the things that I ought to do and want to do. For some reason, I was convinced it was something inside me but it wasn't me. After praying a while, my prayer morphed into one phrase, "get out, get out, get out, get out..."
I saw a black thing that was my shape and size leap out of me and run out of the room.
I thought I was losing my mind so I went to bed.
Of course, you're all wondering if I became a paragon of Christian virtue after. The short answer is no, but I have less angst about it.
Hi Caroline, I read with interest your Blog and commend you for your openess, honesty and spiritual insight. What caught my eye initially was the name of your blog entry: Dark Things. I happen to be the author of a book by the same name and was curious as to whether or not you had read it...
Below is a link:
http://www.amazon.com/Dark-Things-Lift-Every-Voice/dp/0802412521/
God bless
David
Posted by: David M. Humphrey | February 23, 2008 at 10:30 AM