Dark Things

I was talking to my pastor about what makes a person Christian. Recently, I've been thinking that being saved and being a Christian are two different things although I've always been taught that they are the same. The general theory is that we're all born separated from God and destined for hell but if we accept Jesus as our savior, we become Christians and we're saved. As Christians, we can get baptized, join a Baptist church and go to heaven.

My pastor, who has a doctorate in theology, would be mortified by the above caricature of his life's mission but, hey, he doesn't read this blog.

I was nineteen when someone finally told me the bad news, uh, I mean the Good News. Because of my sins, I was separated from God by a bottomless, uncrossable abyss. She drew it all out for me on a piece of paper. She even sketched my pathetic attempts to bridge the gap. Then she told me Jesus died for my sins and I can cross over to God by using him as a bridge. This she pinned to the bulletin board above my desk. After about 6 months, I said the prayer, crossed the gap and got up from my knees, a changed person.

That is the nice tidy story I put on church membership forms. And the story I tell when I'm trying to convert someone to Christianity, to save them as I was once saved.

The following is the sidebar.

When I was a child, I went through a phase where I was terrified of that brief period between getting into bed and falling to sleep. It seems that when all was settled and quiet, a Dark Thing would rise up and fill the room with mind numbing fear. I knew that I would be okay if I could sing one of two songs in my head. I don't know how I know; I just knew.

One of the songs was Jesus Loves Me:

Jesus loves me, this I know
For the bible tells me so
Little ones to Him belong
We are weak but He is strong.

The other was Jesus Loves the Little Children

Jesus loves the little children
All the children of the world
Red and yellow, black and white
They are precious in His sight
Jesus loves the little children of the world.

And every time, just before I can think the songs, the Dark Thing will tell me that I will forget the words or I will get the songs mixed up. It will say very convincingly, "this time, it will not work." But every time, through mindless fear, I would start either of the songs in my head and it would always play perfectly to the end. And the Dark Thing would go away.

That was several decades ago. In the intervening years, I accepted Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior, became a Christian, logged many hours of church, bible reading and religious stuff. I know a lot more. But when I look back at that scared child in the dark, I wonder if I am any more saved than she was.

Comments

[Troy]

Great, great post. I love your question at the end and then the spiritual time-space comment in the next post. It's such a mystery, isn't it? Since God isn't bound by his created entity of time, I just love that the answer to your question very well may be both yes and no! :)