Caroline's Blog

when cats fight

One morning, as I was blearily coming to consciousness, I became aware of my cat (the fat one pictured to the --->) hoping up and down by my feet, pawing the comforter and the footboard. How cute, she's dancing, I thought. Then I thought, wait a minute, isn't that her litter box routine? Then I saw the poop. Yup, the cat had just used my bed as a litter box. With me still in it.

So I spanked her little bottom and rubbed her face in it.

Of course, I DID NOT do that. Cat psychologists say cats do not benefit from punishment; it only teaches them fear, not what is right or what is wrong. I knew my cats were in the middle of a dominance struggle and this is a feline battle strategy. Alex(andra) was laying claim to Jenny's preferred sleeping spot in the same 'scorched-earth' manner of Alexander the Great. Note to self: never name pets after world conquerors.

I hopped out of bed and washed everything in detergent and enzymatic cleaners to remove all traces of her sin. Then I instilled in them the belief that the bed is not a litter box by feeding and playing with them there. Then I declared an end to their little war by establishing a clear line of dominance. Me first, then Alex (the little rotter) and then sweet Jenny. Whoever said the meek shall inherit the earth? Oh yeah, it was Jesus.

The experts agree that the most aggressive animal should be the dominant one unless I was willing to mess with their brain chemistry by feeding valium to one and serotonin to the other. But there are limits to how far I'm willing to go in the interest of social justice.

Well, it's been a number of years since then and both cats live peaceably, as peaceably as two fallen creatures can, only putting up the occasional fight for my entertainment. Alex now sleeps in the spot she claimed and Jenny has found a new spot by my side. They eat from the same food bowl and drink from the same water dish and have been known to kiss each other in greeting.

I was thinking last night how differently and strangely each of us hear and understand God when this incident bubbled up from my subconscious. Quite often when someone talks about what God said to them, God's words are layered and infused with judgment, condemnation and wrath. Quite often, I think this is not the voice of God I heard.

So somewhere in Mississauga, Ontario lives a crazy cat lady who is patient and understanding with her cats, who never freaks out on them and start beating them up. Somewhere in Mississauga, Ontario, there are two cats who do not spend their days in fear, alternately avoiding and fighting their owner. And their God is far more loving, gracious, kind, merciful and understanding than she is.

son of perdition

perdition: a state of punishment which goes on forever, suffered by evil people after death; damnation; hell

Jesus, when he was praying to his Father said, "While I was with them in the world, I kept them in thy name: those that thou gavest me I have kept, and none of them is lost, but the son of perdition; that the scripture might be fulfilled." [John 17:12, KJV]

The son of perdition he was referring to is Judas, a name that now means "traitor". People naturally assign Judas to hell and most feel that is his proper place. But some are bothered by the other part of the verse that says he was destined from before his birth to betray Jesus.

Judas Isacariot, son of Simon, was a zealot, a member of a political movement in Jesus' day. In between the Old Testament and the New Testament, Israel ended up under Roman rule until Judas Maccabaeus led a successful rebellion and they were independent for nearly 100 glorious years. Hanukkah celebrates one of the miracles from that time when the oil supply in the temple did not run out and the flame kept burning. In those days, you could be proud to be a Jew, an Israelite, a chosen people, a tiny nation who stood up to the Roman Empire.

By the time Judas was born, they were back under Roman rule, hating it and longing for the days of King David, the days of Judas Maccabaeus. Some of the zealots became known as "sicarii" or dagger-men (aka assassins) and because Judas is called Isacariot, he was probably one of them. They fought for independence by stealthily stabbing Romans and Roman sympathizers in crowded places. They saw themselves as freedom fighters. Rome called them terrorists and crucified any they caught.

One day Judas Iscariot encountered a rabbi who said, "Follow me!" and that rabbi was Jesus.

Judas followed for three years and listened to Jesus talk about the coming kingdom of God with a glowing heart. He saw Jesus heal people, cast out demons and raise the dead!! He knew he was in the company of the long awaited Messiah. They traveled up and down Israel and he saw thousands beg Jesus to be their king.

But Jesus always refused. Often just when the crowd reached a hysterical pitch of excitement and it looks like things were gonna happen, Jesus would...fade into the woodwork, disappear, drop out of sight. And Judas had to wait another day.

Every spring, Jews from all over the world come to Jerusalem to celebrate the Passover. At that time, the city of David become a seething mass of people gathered to remember the glorious day when the Angel of Death killed all the Egyptian first born males but "passover"ed the Jews, the glorious day when Moses told Pharaoh, "Let my people go!" To the Romans, it was a nightmare of crowd control.

One Passover, Jesus came to Jerusalem in the same way an Israelite king would in the days of David, riding on a donkey. The people filled the streets, waving palm branches and shouting "Hosanna!" ("Save!") "Blessed is he who comes in the name of the LORD!"  "Blessed is the coming kingdom of our father David!" "Hosanna in the highest!" Judas walked behind with tears in his eyes and his heart bursting with pride and excitement. This is it!

Then Jesus went to the temple and drove out the people who changed Roman coins into Jewish shekels and gouged the Jews in the process. This is it!

Then they gathered in an upper room for the Passover meal and Jesus started talking about serving others and loving one another and...that he was going away; they will be sad but not for long. This is NOT it.

The bible says Satan entered Judas at the feast and he got up from his spot beside Jesus and betrayed him. He sold Jesus to the authorities for 30 pieces of silver  and betrayed him with a kiss in a garden as pretty and peaceful as Eden. Then he watched.

He watched as Jesus went quietly like a lamb to the butcher's block to be mocked, beaten and crucified. He watched his friends flee the scene. He waited for the people to rise up and revolt. Instead, they who shouted "Hosanna!" yesterday now shouted, "Crucify him!" He watched his dream die and he too died. He had betrayed an innocent man.

He returned the money and he hung himself. Prophecy fulfilled.

But I don't think Judas is rotting in hell. A better rendition of what Jesus said is "While I was with them, I protected them and kept them safe by that name you gave me. None has been lost except the one doomed to destruction so that Scripture would be fulfilled." meaning Satan was all out to kill Jesus and his disciples but all the disciples, except Judas, will survive that horrific night.

On the cross, Jesus said, "Father forgive them for they know not what they do." He said it for the Roman soldiers who were executing him, for the nation of Israel who had rejected him, for his disciples who had abandoned him, for the thief beside him who died believing and for the other thief beside him who died cursing. And he said it for Judas.

Judas: zealot, sicarii, friend, betrayer, human. It was for such a person as he that God came in person to save. Judas is one of us.

for Adam
The morning after Palm Sunday, 2005

son of perdition con't

Simon Peter also betrayed Jesus that night when he denied him three times. He had sworn earlier that evening that he would never, ever disown him. Other people might turn chicken and flee but not he! He would rather die first. He will be the one to go down fighting by Jesus' side.

Like Judas, he didn't realize what he was doing as he was doing it. Like Judas, he realized what he had done after he did it and was absolutely devastated. The gospels said he wept bitterly. The only difference between Peter and Judas is that Peter didn't kill himself. He lived to see a new morning. He saw the empty tomb. He saw Jesus alive again. He received forgiveness, blessing and a new life.

On the night of betrayals, Jesus told him, "Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.”

In the midst of our failure and shattered dreams, Jesus also says to us: "I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers."

eternal punishment and eternal life

There is a parable of Jesus in Matthew 25:31-46 that is problematic for a lot of Christians.

Non Christians have no problems with this parable because it seems obvious that good people, regardless of religious affiliation, will go to heaven and bad people will go to hell. In fact, this parable is rather comforting because Jesus is saying it's the little acts of kindness that we're all capable of doing that gets us into his good grace, not the heroic 'walk on glass and get burnt at the stake' martyrdom stuff of saints. You don't have to be Mother Theresa or the Pope to get in; you could help out at the food bank.

The problem Evangelical Christians have with this parable is because we believe we're saved by grace through faith alone. It is Martin Luther's battle cry sola fide - faith alone. I have a problem with this parable because I don't believe in eternal damnation.

The key to this parable is found in the epistle 1 John, particularly the verse 1 John 1:2. "The life appeared; we have seen it and testify to it, and we proclaim to you the eternal life, which was with the Father and has appeared to us."

Eternal life is Jesus Christ. It is the incarnation. It is us in Him and He in us. If we do good, we get Him as our reward. Being kind and loving to someone is practicing His presence. Being cruel means not getting him or getting the other guy which counts as the opposite concept, eternal punishment. Eternal life begins right now with our next act of lovingkindness.

This is because God is Love and Love gives. God gave us everything He had: His Son to show us who He is; His Spirit to guide and comfort us; and Himself to love and father us. We are all His children.

Both Paul and Jesus said that if we loved God with all our heart, soul, strength and mind and if we loved our neighbour as ourselves, we fulfill all the commandments. The odd thing I've found when teaching people this concept is that some believe that loving God means hating certain people like Muslims or homosexuals. To my consternation, I found that I could not convince them that we love God by loving others and we love others by loving God. In the end, I had to drop God from the equation and say, "When caught in a moral dilemma, do the most loving thing for the people involved." I hope someday I can put God back in but I'll have to change who people believe God is and that is a herculean task.

Just in case that sounds like a cop out (which it is, by the way)....

A friend introduced me to a group who believes God is angry all the time against sinners. (Thanks Lance) The surprise is they are more gracious and loving than their God. But they believe loving God means hating those He (or so they believe) hates and their hate is unleavened by mercy or grace because they believe God is unrelenting in His judgment. They were the ones who got me thinking about Matthew 25 because they threw it to me along with other biblical passages, all in the Authorized King James Version, which had double the references to hell than my bible. So I do owe them thanks for this post.

"Luke, don't give in to hate. That leads to the Dark Side." Obi-Wan Kenobi

Faith

Preachers quite often speak of faith as if it is no big deal. They describe it as easy as sitting on a chair. "Don't you show you have faith in the chair every time you sit down?" they ask the congregation. The "you fool" is implied.

The thing is, I have over 40 years experience with chairs. I know chairs. I've sat in many chairs. I can size up an article in an intuitive flash and know if I want to sit on it. What about someone who has never sat on a chair before or who has had chairs pulled from under him just as he committed himself to sitting down?

To me, faith is a gift and like all spiritual gifts, it comes to us in seed form to be planted and tended.

Abraham is a hero in the hall of faith. But he told white lies about Sarah being his sister which resulted in two different kings taking her into their harem. He thought that if the kings knew Sarah was his wife, they would kill him. Instead God had to rescue the future mother of a great nation from a compromising situation not once but twice. Abraham also allowed Sarah to talk him into her Hagar scheme even though it was a bad idea. God stepped in again to rescue Hagar after Sarah realized it was a bad idea and drove her out. He also blessed Ismael because he is Abraham's son.

So Abraham did not trust God 24/7 with everything important to him. But Abraham was a man who spoke to God face to face as a man speaks to a friend and over the years, faith and trust grew and matured.

Abraham was more than 100 years old when his great test of faith came. God asked him to take his son, his only son, Isaac, whom he loved, and sacrifice him on Moriah as a burnt offering and Abraham obeyed. Now, if he went thinking "what God is asking me to do is wrong and immoral but I must do it anyway because I fear Him", I believe he would have failed his test of faith. He would have gone up the mountain believing he is a better person than God. God is just the bigger person.

I believe he went up thinking, 'I know God is good and what He asks of me must also be good. Even though I don't understand yet I will trust Him.' That is true faith.

"Know therefore that the LORD your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commands." We are a part of the thousand generations of Abraham, a man who loved and obeyed God.

God stopped Abraham and substituted a ram for Isaac. Centuries later, our Triune God returned to the same area. Another Father laid His Son down as a sacrifice. Another Son said not my will but yours be done. 

Faith con't

My pastor has an earned doctorate in theology from the University of Toronto. He did it while pastoring a church and being a father to four children and it took many years. For his graduation, his wife planned a huge surprise party with all their friends and family. That morning, he went golfing with the person designated to bring him to the party at the proper hour. Towards the end of their game, his friend teed off and the ball sliced viciously around and smashed into his chin, opening up a gash that poured out blood. His friend debated whether to rush him to the emergency room or to haul the poor guy to the party and chose the party. That was how they made their entrance. After enduring lots of bad jokes and pictures, his friend took him to the hospital while everyone partied on. He said wryly, 'This is just one more thing I will have to ask God about.'

But like Abraham he also said, I don't understand but I believe.

Another pastor has a wife who died unexpectedly in a car accident. He said, don't ask me how I am because you don't want to know. The pain is unendurable.

But like Abraham, he too does not understand but he believes.

A friend's son-in-law became suddenly ill. She called all her friends to pray and she has worldwide contacts. But he died in a just a few days. Her daughter collapsed at the hospital with heart failure, the broken heart syndrome. She too will have to climb a mountain and say I don't understand but I believe.

[added March 19,2005. Her pastor quoted C.H. Spurgeon during the funeral:]

God is too good to be unkind.
He is too wise to be confused.
If I cannot trace his hand,
I can always trust His heart.

In the midst of his suffering Job said, "Though he slay me, yet will I hope in him."

And who is this who inspires such trust from these people? Someone whose face they know and whose voice they've heard. Someone who has walked with them for years. Someone whose heart they know is good.

Blood, blood everywhere!

I spent some time today trying to convince someone that God is not an ANGRY GOD who needs blood sacrifices to appease Him. I didn't succeed with him or the listeners.

God can forgive anyone for anything anytime He wants. Jesus forgave the paralytic who was lowered through the roof. I don't think either he or his friends were seeking forgiveness when they ruined that house. God even forgave the Ninevites when they repented, much to Jonah's disgust.

When God decided to shape Israel into the "womb that will earth Him" [Torrance], He did not start with a blank slate. He had a rabble who was brought out of Egypt. Some of the objects and patterns of worship He instituted at Mount Sinai have a distinctly Egyptian flavour. It was something familiar for an uprooted people.

Many religious cultures offer animal and human sacrifices to their gods. They believe all aspects of life is influenced by some kind of deity and it was necessary to appease or feed this god in order to have peace and prosperity.

But YHWH is different. He is the God of everything, everyone and everywhere. We don't feed Him; He feeds us. The sacrifices He required from His people were thanksgiving for what He has blessed them with, and...their sins. People laid hands on their sin offering, opened its veins and splashed the blood around, and then burnt their sins and the animal on the altar. As the smoke rose, forgiveness and blessing flowed back from God. The priest would say to the people, "The LORD bless you and keep you; the LORD make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the LORD turn his face toward you and give you peace."

This is because God is Love and Love is about relationship.

Later Love stepped in when everything was ready and took the place of the sin bearing animal. Our sins were laid on Him and it was His blood that got splashed around.

Much later still we learn that blood fights diseases and heals wounds. It brings nutrients to every part of our body and removes waste by-products. Any part that is cut from its blood supply dies.

male and female sacrifices

being a continuation of the post above
some musings on the relative worth the bible gives to males and females.

Only males without blemish are acceptable as animal sacrifices. A common person could offer a female goat or lamb for their sin offering. The usual explanation is that they prefigured Jesus Christ, the ultimate perfect sacrifice for our sins.

I think it's wise animal husbandry. Male animals are usually eaten. Female animals are kept for milk and breeding along with a few (lucky) males. Intact males are often difficult to handle. Animals, I mean. Really!

Fellowship offerings can be an animal of either sex. It is a voluntary act of worship, a celebratory party with the local Levites because God is good and life can be sweet.

Shaolin Soccer

A few days ago, my family and I watched a goofy yet profound movie called Shaolin Soccer. A group of Shaolin monks, after spending years learning the Shaolin way of life and promising their master to do good and promote the Shaolin philosophy, ends up living among the dregs of Hong Kong society, just barely scraping by. Well, one guy does well as a businessman but only by living a life that totally denies everything Shaolin.

One monk who has not given up, kept coming up with schemes to get their message across to the busy and pre-occupied people of Hong Kong. As he explained, if people lived the Shaolin way, they could avoid injury should they step on a banana skin, park cars with ease in Hong Kong's streets and do their mundane jobs with speed and grace. His explanation is illustrated by a goofy sequence of people attempting all that with and without Shaolin. At one time he manages to recruit one of his brothers to sing songs about Shaolin in a bar which quickly devolve into a riot. As they are beaten up, they wondered if their songs were too "directional". Basically, his brothers avoid him whenever they can.

He makes his living as a rag picker, the lowest of the low in Hong Kong, without even enough change to buy sweet buns. One day, he sees a young bun maker using chi and Tao at work. Her motions are sheer poetry and dance and he bursts into song and tells her she is beautiful. Since she has purulent, seeping acne, she thinks he is crazy. She spends all her time hiding behind her hair, not looking anyone in the eyes and making amazing sweet buns.

Everyone at the shop and the monk breaks into a really goofy dance sequence reminiscent of Michael Jackson etc. while the bun girl looks on.

Eventually, the guys stumble onto soccer and realize they are amazing and unbeatable as a team. Their chi is so strong, the ball bursts into flames as it soars through the air. They enter a tournament and defeat scoffers and demons. (In Chinese mythology, demons are beautiful women with facial hair and yes, there is a hilarious scene of them playing against these demons.)

In the final match, they meet Team Evil, owned by someone who is the Chinese version of Satan.

Well, you'll have to watch the rest of the movie to see how it turned out. The bun making girl saves the day for them.

There are several themes running through this movie: incorporating spirituality in daily life; the strength of brotherhood; how despair can make us forget who we are meant to be; how beauty is both inside us and all around us.

All throughout the movie, I kept thinking this is a great metaphor of Christians living in Canada. Of course, I don't think that's what the film makers had in mind when they made this movie. :-)

Gay Marriages

And now for something totally different...

When Brian McLaren was asked about gay marriages, he said, "You know what, the thing that breaks my heart is that there's no way I can answer it without hurting someone on either side." I love that answer. He has wrestled with the issue and he knows the impact his answers will have on us.

But fools rush in where angels fear to tread and I am such a fool.

There are at two concepts of marriage.

Marriage as instituted by God is a reflection of the imago dei, a reflection of Himself. We are made in His image, both male and female, and in marriage, the two become one bonded by Love. In marriage, we create: the love, the children, the life. It is a picture of our Triune God.

The other concept of marriage is the legal one and it is under the province of our governments. They define it and regulate it. And their primary, God given mandate is justice. As Gerald Vandezande is fond of saying, justice is not 'just us'. A society is judged by how she treats the least of her citizens.

A lot of marriages, even Christian marriages, are not good reflections of the imago dei. Some are broken, abusive and/or evil. But this reality does not mar the ideal. Single people and childless couples also bear the image of God especially when they love one another and create something good in this world. Can we truly say that two gay persons who promise to love and honour each other can not reflect God's image?

Jesus said there will be no marriage in heaven so this point will eventually become moot.

I think the greatest difficulty for Christians is the don't ask, don't tell and don't do policy. If gay Christians can not marry, then they can not have sex. This issue forces us to deal with people like Mel White and Bishop Robinson, sincere and mature Christians who have struggled with their identity and concluded that God loves them as they are.

This is where I'm currently stuck. I know some people who can see angels and demons and I want to ask them what they see when they look at a gay person and gay couples. This is where I want to walk by sight and not by faith.

The only impression I get from my heavenly Father is that it's not what others do that matters; it is how I treat them, how I respond that matters most to Him.