Caroline's Blog

Have I read the Great Divorce?

Yes, and it greatly influenced my understanding of hell for a long time.  The other great influence was a scenario towards the end of The Last Battle from the Chronicles of Narnia. Emmet meets Aslan and is devastated because he had worshipped Tash his whole life. However, Aslan accepts Emmet as one of His own and declared that all Emmet did for Tash, he really did for Aslan.

I would like to apply a little Lewisian logic to the hell problem.

The Great Divorce posits that some people, through choices made in this lifetime, become more suited to be a denizen of hell than heaven and even though they can leave hell, most are unable if not downright unwilling to do so.

But if anyone chooses hell over heaven, she must be a) deceived, b) in bondage or c) insane. God is more than capable of healing all three conditions and He has all eternity to do so. Would anyone who know the truth, who is freed from bondage and in his right mind choose hell? The man freed from Legion wanted to follow Jesus.

Jesus Christ came to bring us truth and life. He came to give sight to the blind and to set the captives free. In the end, He will be all in all.

Eternal damnation is neither logical nor necessary.

Acts 27

Paul was travelling to Rome as a prisoner under a Roman guard. The journey was long and arduous and winter was fast approaching. When they reached Fair Havens, Paul said, "Men, I can see that our voyage is going to be disastrous and bring great loss to ship and cargo, and to our own lives also."  He was all for wintering at Fair Havens.

However, the centurion, the pilot and the ship owner decided to try for Phoenix as a more suitable winter harbour. On the first good day, they set sail. According to Luke, "before very long, a wind of hurricane force, called the 'northeaster,' swept down." The next day, they threw the cargo overboard. On the third day, Luke reported, "they began to throw the ship's tackle overboard with their own hands. When neither sun nor stars appeared for many days and the storm continued raging, we finally gave up all hope of being saved."

At the lowest point, Paul said, "Men, you should have taken my advice not to sail from Crete; then you would have spared yourselves this damage and loss." But then he also said that an angel of the Lord had appeared to him and he was told that while the ship will eventually be lost, no one of them will die.

Two weeks into the storm, at around midnight, the sailors sensed that they were near land. Three soundings showed they were approaching land - fast. They dropped four anchors and prayed for daylight. Some tried to sneak a lifeboat away but Paul said, "Unless these men stay with the ship, you cannot be saved." and the soldiers stopped them.

Paul encouraged the company to eat something and not lose hope. "Not one of you will lose a single hair from his head." He took some bread, gave thanks and broke it. Altogether, Luke said, "there were 276 of us on board." After their simple meal, they threw the rest of the food overboard.

Dawn revealed an island with a bay and sandy beach. They cut loose the anchors, untied the ropes tying down the rudder, hoisted a sail and ran for the beach. They slam into a hidden sandbar and the ship start to break apart. The Roman soldiers decided to kill the prisoners but their centurion stopped them because of Paul. He ordered everyone swim for shore, using flotsam if necessary. 

Everybody, swimmer and non-swimmer alike, survive the wild surf and made it to shore safely.

This little story illustrates for me what God is like. He gives the people a stern and clear warning that if they continue to do what they are doing they will end up in disaster and death. But He steps in to save them from their own stupidity anyway. It's what a loving Father would do.

This story also explains for me why Jesus talked so much about hell and the apostles so little. It is Jesus' duty as our Elder Brother to relay Our Father's stern warning that if we continue to do what we're doing, we're going to end up in the burning, garbage dump. It is also Jesus' right to warn us because He will pay our price and save us from our own stupidity.

The Rich Man and Lazarus

is a parable people often bring up when universalism is presented because of the great uncrossable divide between hell and Abraham's bosom.

In Jesus' time, people believed that God rewards the godly with a good life and punishes the wicked with afflictions and poverty. This is especially true for the Sadducees who did not believe in an afterlife, resurrection or immortality of the soul. When Jesus began his parable, the listeners would assume that the Rich Man was a godly man and Lazarus must have been one deserving God's wrath. Lazarus had no blessings and longed to receive whatever drops that fell from the Rich Man's overflowing cup. Like a cold, starving orphan, he was unable to resist pressing his nose against the window of a warm, happy family enjoying their evening meal.

Imagine the listeners shock when Jesus said that after they died, Lazarus is taken by angels to Abraham's side and the Rich Man went to eternal conscious torment. Jesus' two main points are made right after that shocking turn in the story.

1. Those who receive good in this life but did not help their less fortunate neighbours will be tormented in hell, and those who had nothing in this life will be comforted in their afterlife.
2. No one can cross from paradise to hell or from hell to paradise

The most poignant part of the story for me was when the Rich Man asks Abraham to send Lazarus to warn his brothers. Obviously Lazarus knew the key to paradise and the Rich Man did not. He did not want his brothers to suffer as he did and to me, that speaks of a love that survives hell's torments.

Abraham's dismissive answer is that all Jews already know all that they need to know from their Prophets and Moses.

At the conclusion of Jesus' parable, if I were one of his original listeners, I would have asked myself if I wanted to follow this Rabbi. His message seems to be harder than the Pharisees' and more horrible than the Sadducees'. I hope I would continue to trail after him like a moth drawn irresistibly to flame or like that cold, starving orphan to a vision of warmth and food.

Because, a little while later, I would hear that He has defeated death and that the gates of hell could not stand against Him and that He has set the captives free. Then when I recall this parable, I would marvel at just how great is His salvation. And I'll remember to help those who have less than I.

It may not be so easy after all

I wrote that it was easy to be a universalist; one just have to believe in the possibility of post-mortem conversion.

But now I am thinking it is not so easy because universalism calls for the re-conversion or re-evanglization of the Church. It seems like such a tiny change in theology to say that perhaps physical death is not a barrier to God's plans for a person but doing so seems to require a change in how we do everything from the kid's programs to the senior's programs.

I once taught Beta, which is a continuation of Alpha. Beta is based on Neil Anderson's Bondage Breaker, which is a great book, but Beta as taught by Anderson was extremely modern and foundational. Being postmodern, I had to tweak every chapter to fit my worldview. Universalism calls for such tweaking from the way I read my bible to the way I talk to people.

Great theologians like Martin Luther or Karl Barth have issued the call of refromation in their times. We are reformed and ever reforming. Semper reformada. I hope someone just like them will rise up under the banner of a universalism that is both trinitarian and biblical and be that voice in the desert.

annihilation/conditionalism

Someone asked me if I considered conditionalism as well as universalism.

I hadn't really thought about it. I used to be a 5 point Calvinist until the night C. Baxter Kruger preached at my church and I became convinced that Jesus Christ died for the sins of the entire world. With the L knocked out of TULIP, I slid into universalism. Conditionalism greased the way because those brave theologians proved exegetically that hell is not eternal.

I prefer universalism to conditionalism because:

1. Quite a few church fathers and a lot of the early Christians believed in universalism. How else could the message that salvation is by grace alone through faith be good news unless it included all those who have not heard because they could not hear. The Protestant Reformation resulted in so many universalist congregations that Catholic church historian Harnack said the reformers were "apocatastatists at heart".
2. All the passages about hell, punishment, damnation, condemnation can be read as remedial correction as well as finite in endurance. If Jesus Christ atoned for all of our sins, it seems odd that some people would be resurrected just so that they can be punished before being snuffed out permanently.

Nevertheless, a lot of my friends are conditionalists and I can live with that position. Universalism is a pretty scary step for nearly all Evangelicals and I think it's because universalism has always been linked with liberal theology, heresy and unitarianism for the last 2 centuries. It's time to re-ground and re-present universalism as biblically solid orthodox doctrine, a theological task ably taken by Thomas Talbott,  Jan Bonda and Gregory MacDonald (which is a pseudonym).

So now, if a Christian were presented with 3 biblically sound doctrines: exclusivism, conditionalism, and universalism, why would anyone not choose universalism? Does it not best represent God as revealed by Jesus, our God who chose to call Himself "The Lord saves" when he came to dwell among us as a man?

Aftermath

I had a family over for dinner last Saturday. She used to be in my cell group back when I was part of a church plant. She had decided to marry an atheist and my pastor insisted that I tell her that was wrong, even though she already knew that, because it was my duty as cell group leader. Another person in my cell group told me same saying that she'll feel bad if she did not say something to warn her sister and then something bad happened later. So I did. She cried. I felt bad. I wasn't invited to the wedding.

But now that I'm a Universalist, everything is new again. I sent her an email to check out the wikipedia article and I had them over. They have 2 beautiful daughters and he is going to church with the family and reading a lot. Ever the skeptic, he gravitates towards literature that is fringe like Gnosticism, in the belief that they probably have more truth than the mainstream publications. I told him I prefer the inclusiveness of mainstream Christianity to the elitism of Gnosticism. We had a great time. I feel much better about what happened so long ago. 'Sides, the Christian man she married before while on missions was kind of a weirdo and a creep.

As for my former pastor, he is leaning towards Universalism as well. His cousin died young and suddenly. His aunt collapsed in grief. They are a Christian family but his cousin was not a believer. As his aunt wept, the Holy Spirit spoke through my pastor, asking, can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion for the child she has borne? Even if she does, I will not forget you. My pastor  said it was a very holy moment.

Now if only I can find the girl I was trying to evangelize at some church winter camp eons ago. She tearfully told me she could not accept because then she would have to believe that her brother is in hell. I lamely told her that she can not know if he called out to Jesus just before he died.

Believing what I believe now, I  have truly good news for her.

It's easy to be a Universalist

You just have to believe in the possibility of post-mortem repentance and conversion.

The way I see it, God's grace and mercy and gift of salvation came to me while I was dead in my sins.  (Eph. 2:1 and Col. 2:13) He had to give me the gift of faith as well before I could respond to His grace and mercy and offer of salvation. Does that opportunity end upon my physical death? I don't think so. Sodom was a city completely destroyed by God and Jude said it burns with eternal fire. But Jesus once scolded Capernaum saying Sodom would have repented if he had performed these signs and wonders there,  thereby showing that God knew what would have turned Sodom around. And Ezekiel in an eschatological prophecy said God will restore Sodom just as He will restore Jerusalem because He has made atonement for them. (Ezk. 16:53-63)

Today I went to a T. F. Torrance Society meeting and heard Dr. Victor Shepherd say that true freedom is not libertarian freedom where we can freely choose A or B but true freedom is not being hindered in any way from choosing to conform to God's will. That got me wondering about my free will. I'm a born again Christian so I know I'm going to heaven. But what if I had a persistent sin like unforgiveness? Would I be instantly glorified upon death with my will perfectly made aligned with God or would God require that I repent of my unforgiveness and align my will with His?

I blind-sided the panel with my question of post-mortem repentance and conversion and so I shall wait while they digest these heretical ideas.  Lance, who was sitting beside me, was egging me to push for more but I thought it enough for one morning. Dr. Shepherd mused whether, when Christ gathered all of humanity, some would slip His grasp. He thought yes but I could almost hear the people next to him, all rabid Trinitarians, say No! Never!

When one is a Trinitarian the way Karl Barth or T.F. Torrance was/is, one is a very tiny step away from Universalism. I heard Andrew Purves (?) in a conference on the Incarnation of Christ say we must come as close to Universalism as possible without crossing the line. To which I must ask, why not?

This has been a very interesting journey.

back online

I'm baaaaccckkkk

after a hiatus of more than a year. This truly proves that I'm an INTP; I have started and dropped dozens of projects. So why am I dusting off the blog?

Well... this is what's new. I've become a universalist and I've been disseminating heresy throughout the world wide web.

It's been quite a journey becoming a universalist. In hindsight and in brief, I can say that I've never liked exclusivism but I began my new life as a Christian as an exclusivist because I thought that was the only option. I hated the doctrine but it was tolerable because I believe God to be good and wise and I trusted that He knows what is the best. Every now and then, I'd wonder why He made hell necessary when He started with a blank slate. Anselm's defense and other writings sort of made it rational but I still didn't like it.

It all started to change when I read The Last Battle (the last book of the Narnia Chronicles) and my heart grew strangely warm when I read how Emmett, who worshipped Tash and was looking for him, found Aslan instead. And how Emmett, who was expecting death and eternal conscious torment when he met Aslan, found grace and acceptance instead. If only that could be true! But life did follow fiction because I then started reading about inclusivism and annihilation when my mind and heart were open to new ideas. It seems very reasonable and biblical that people who had not professed Christ could be saved or that there might be an end to punishment in hell.

Later, my pastor invited C. Baxter Kruger to speak at our church and Kruger's main message is that Jesus died for the sins of the entire world. Atonement is not limited. When Jesus Christ was resurrected, he ascended into heaven, dragging all of humanity with him, and seated all of us with him at his father's side. Kruger's ministry is called Perichoresis which is the divine dance of love within the Trinity. He said, we're all there right now. After his talk, there was Q&A. My hand  was the first to shoot up and I asked, "What about hell?" Yes, that's how my mind works. Skip over half a dozen steps and ask the evening crushing question. If Jesus did it all, then what is the reason for hell? Poor Baxter. I found out later that he is not a universalist and has spent an inordinate amount of his energy deflecting accusations of universalism while defending his trinitarian theology. I even listened to his podcast about why universalism isn't part of trinitarianism.

Fast forward half a dozen years, Talbott's The Inescapable Love of God , Jan Bonda's One Purpose God and Gregory MacDonald's (or whoever he/she is) Evangelical Universalist and I am now a born again Universalist.

So what's a good bible believing Baptist girl to do? Evangelize of course! I've found Jesus and I have good news to share. I found a stub article on wikipedia called Christian Trinitarian Universalism that had 4 warning labels on it: biased point of view, flagged for deletion, should be merged with universalism and something else. It also had stuff that more properly belong to Unitarian Universalism. I rewrote it , renamed it and stripped off the warning labels. I later learned that providentially, wikipedia's Tawkerbot2, which looks for vandalism etc. was offline which is why I could do what I did without being flagged for human scrutiny. I found out later that it was against wikipedia rules of etiquette to just rewrite an entire article but I later came into contact with the man who started the article and he was okay with it. He wanted some things that he wrote to reappear in the article and I was happy to accommodate.

The article contains all I currently believe. That is, it does as of today but no guarantee about tomorrow as wikipedia is open sourced. And then I had to do same for 2 other articles. Editing wikipedia is addictive. I'm inordinately proud (and I should also be ashamed, I know) that if you Google 'Trinitarian Universalism' or 'Universalism', the wikipedia articles are #1 hits. If you Google 'Apocatastasis', it's #2. Got beaten out by New Advent, The Catholic Encyclopedia but they do have the better article. I just have better pictures.  That's the power of wikipedia and the internet. I'm neither theologian nor philosopher but I just might be the most read person on this subject.

Next project: rework the theodicy article.

the church of 80% sincerity

The Church of 80% Sincerity was founded by David Roche because we get it right only about 80% of the time. As Roche explains, 80% is as good as it gets and we have to accept that. We understand 80% of the truth we encounter, believe about 80% of it, act according to our beliefs 80% of the time.

I didn't think much of the church when I first read about it but lately, I'm starting to think that David Roche is both prophetic and profound which is evangelical parlance for 'he's right!'

I've never liked John Calvin because of Calvinism and TULIP. My pastor once answered a question I had with an extended quote from John Calvin and I dismissed the whole explanation summarily because I did not like the man. My pastor was shocked because, to him, Calvin was a brilliant theologian and the answer he gave me was the best one he had.

Now that I know about the Church of 80% Sincerity, I can appreciate Calvin. He was wrong about atonement being limited because Christ Jesus died for the sins of all people. But he was right about God's unconditional election and irresistible grace meeting us in our total depravity and about God preserving us against everything. Calvin should not have burnt all those people at the stake for disagreeing with him but I like him a whole lot better because of the grace I found in the Church of 80% Sincerity.

Martin Luther was a great reformer who brought an end to certain church excesses and abuses. He also rediscovered the doctrine that salvation is by grace alone through faith. For a man who believed so much in grace, in unmerited favour, he should not have been so virulently anti-semitic. I'm convinced his attitude affected the Lutheran church and Germany. He would fit in perfectly at the Church of 80% Sincerity.

Martin Luther King was also a great reformer, a hero of our times, but he cheated on his wife and plagiarized some people. He had a dream that he laboured into reality because he believed in the greatness of God, the rightness of love and that justice will prevail. I do not judge him by the colour of his skin or by the content of his character. He belongs in the Church of 80% Sincerity. So would Mahatma Gandhi, another reformer who followed the way of love and non-violence. He rejected Christianity and he drank urine but, at the Church of 80% Sincerity, no one would look at him funny.

N.T. Wright is one of our best living theologian but at a series of lectures at Leicestershire (July 14-16, 2004), he said about a third of what he teaches is probably false; the only problem is that he didn't know which third. Now, if he had 80% truth in his theology and if he could only communicate that 80% of the time, that means we would receive 64% or approximately two-thirds truth when we listen to him. N.T. Wright must be a secret member of the Church of 80% Sincerity.

Hell

Jesus spoke more about hell than anyone else in the bible....or did he?

The word "hell" occurs 15 times in my NIV bible , 13 of those times in Jesus' sermons. Jesus' audience, first century Jews, did not have the same concept of hell - a hellish place of fire and brimstone, eternal damnation and eternal conscious punishment - as we do. They believed that people went to Gehenna when they died and there their souls are purged and purified before they enter heaven. Gehenna is the word Jesus used and the word that got translated as "hell" in our bibles.

My pastor once told us of the time his 9 year old son went to camp. After one week, they got back a dirt encrusted stranger. They ran a hot bath and scrubbed and washed and scrubbed and washed until something recognizable emerged. "Ah, there you are my son!" he exclaimed.

Now that I know Judaism does not have a concept of hell and other places of eternal damnation, I can picture a different ending for the people who bloated up and died of snake venom near Edom or who puked their guts out and died while eating quail at Kibroth Hattaavah.

I think they all ended up in Gehenna where the LORD tossed them into hot steam rooms until they started to sweat toxins. Then He thrashed them thoroughly with hyssop and birch branches and steamed them even some more. Then He pushed up His sleeves and pounded and kneaded, stretched and folded them into artistic pretzel and origami shapes to loosen them up. Then He slapped them face down on thin mats and commanded His angels to walk all over them. Many a hardened sinner has turned white as a ghost and muttered, "Oh dear G_d"  when they saw the size of the angel coming purposefully toward them.

God would walk around, supervising and nodding approval and has been known to pounce on an unsuspecting sinner, wrenching his neck around and cracking 15 or 16 vertebrae into position and moving on before the victim can let out a scream. Meanwhile, his angel would continue to walk up and down nonchalantly as if this was a very common occurrence.

Then the sinners are tossed into vats of hot water and long, drawn out groans would echo around the room. Aaaaahhhhhh!!! Ooooooohhhhh!! and Ooooooooooo. They would alternate between soaking limply and blasting through energetic wash-and-spin cycles which involved all sorts of detergents, soaps and shampoos. The light-hearted work songs of the angels running the water and soap systems added to the surrealness of the whole experience.

Finally, God dips them in a cool water rinse, flips them inside out, wrings out their innards, snaps them right way up with a practiced flick of His wrists and stands them on their feet. And then He says with absolute delight, "Ah, there you are, my children!"

More Christian Myths

Myth: God answers all our prayers; He says yes, no or wait.

God speaks to us all the time and He says a lot more than just yes, no or wait. This reduces God to less than the Magic 8 Ball which has 20 possible answers. If we only expect Him to say 'yes, no or wait', we'll miss all that He has to say to us.

Myth: Be careful what you pray for, you might get it.

This plus the "don't pray for patience" advice are prayer killers. It makes God sound like the divine Monkey Paw where all your ardent heart desires are answered in such horrific ways that it makes you wish you had never wished for anything at all. Not a good way to foster an intimate prayer life.

Myth: You know you're doing God's will if you meet with lots of opposition, setbacks and suffering.

Then how do we know when we're not doing God's will? When everything is just perfect and we're meeting with success after success?

A lot of needless suffering could be avoided with a good grounding in spiritual warfare. I have the privilege of being mentored by one of the best in this area. He has taught me prayers of protection and prayers against retaliation. He has taught me how to discern God's will and the necessity of keeping one foot on earth and one foot in heaven. Best of all, he taught me that when people hear God, they feel everything is urgent, imperative and must be done NOW because there is a timelessness in the spiritual realm. This is a common error and the source of much grief.

From a comment by Deb:
Another one that gets thrown in my face is "You can be sure that you're serving where God wants you if you really hate it; because God makes sure you have to depend on Him and can't possibly take any glory for yourself." Where do people get these ideas? Why would God waste all that effort to endow me with talents and a love of one kind of work/service and direct me to do something I have no heart or skills to carry out?

the last word and the word after that

There are 2 groups of questions regarding homosexuality in the commentary section of Brian McLaren's new book, The Last Word and The Word After That. The book is primarily about hell and homosexuality is a very minor side point. These questions are McLaren's 'answer' to the gay question but they are not rhetorical so I'm going to give them a whirl.

One set is for the conservative and one for the liberal. Since some Christians call me liberal and some conservative, I'll answer both sets.

For the liberal:
How do you recommend we decide what is right or wrong sexually? Does "anything go," and if not, how do we decide how to identify any sexual behavior as wrong - on what basis?

I would base my decision primarily on whether the behaviour hurts the persons involved. I can limit it to the people involved because sex is a private thing. If it was a public act, then public sentiments and morals should be taken into account. One of our Prime Ministers said the government has no business in the nation's bedrooms.

What are the personal and social consequences of a lack of moral clarity on sexual issues, and how can those consequences be avoided or dealt with?

The same way we handle free speech. We all agree free speech is a good thing but we don't let people yell 'fire!' in a crowded theatre or make bomb threats or promote hate. We have laws against false advertising, slander, libel and perjury. We may have difficulty deciding what is pornography and what is art and what is just bad taste but we know when someone has crossed the line as in child pornography.  Free speech serves our free society and we are able to regulate it so that it is helpful and not harmful. It's not a perfect situation but we do okay. I think we can trust ourselves to handle sex with the same common sense.

And if you accept and affirm gay people, how will you deal with those whose consciences will not allow them to do so? Does your acceptance of gays require a rejection of those who do not agree with you, and if not, how will the difference be dealt with?

I do worship and will continue to worship with those who disagree with me. Perhaps we may need to agree to disagree, to revisit hot topics only occassionally and dwell instead on our common ground, Jesus Christ, and all that means. Love covers a multitude of sins.

For the conservative:
How do you believe homosexual people should be treated? Should they be constantly shamed? Made to live in secret or hiding? Deprived of basic human rights, equal pay, housing, and so on? Accepted, but on some second-class status that would treat them differently from other people? And if you cannot accept homosexual people in your midst, can you accept those who do, or must you reject (on some level) both homosexual people and those who accept them?

It can not be denied that homosexuality is anathema in the bible. Paul said to avoid sexual sins and he had a Judaic idea of sexual morality. Our soul/spirit becomes attached to anyone we have sex with. C.S. Lewis said few things we do involve our whole person (spirit, soul & body) and sex is one of them. It is a powerful act that opens up gateways in the spiritual realm. It is this mysterious spiritual element to sex that makes it so wonderful when two people are in love and so devastating when it is forced on someone.

I also believe in social justice and Canadians believe in peace, order and good government. In our social contract, we approach each group and say we may not be brothers but we can live together as neighbours.  Justice is not just for us and it is in all our interest to make sure every group is treated justly. For our social contract, I would propose that all rights enjoyed by members of our society - from protection against hate to marriage - should be extended to gay people. As in all social contracts, there are the opt out clauses. I propose that churches be allowed to opt out of performing or blessing gay marriages.

Would I prefer gay marriages be called same sex unions? Yes, I think that would be more palatable to Canadian society and yes I'm aware of the objections to that. Should Christian businesses (printers, caterers, wedding planners) be allowed to opt out? I say no. I know that will be extremely unpopular. But they can no more be exempt than Christian funeral homes, doctors and real estate agents. As part of the social contract, I hope gay people will agree it makes more sense to use gay friendly businesses especially for something as significant as a wedding!

___________

Having worked through this exercise, all I can say is that I'm glad I'm not as widely reaad as Brian nor am I a leader of a church and a movement!!! Phew!

Here's to blessed obscurity.

Christian Myths

Myth: God will never give you more than you can handle.

All of life is more than I can handle which is why I need a Saviour - every day of my life. This myth puts failure and despair squarely on the shoulders of the struggling person. We blithely toss this anchor to drowning people, thinking it will encourage them to keep paddling. We fill our churches, bookstores and airwaves with testimonies of triumphs but we never talk about those who never made it to the end of the tunnel, who lost their faith or their lives. Victories are public celebrations, failures are private shame.

The Apostle Paul had a thorn in his flesh, a messenger from Satan. Three times he prayed to God to remove it but God said no, He won't remove it, but Paul has His presence and His grace which is enough and that, somehow, makes everything okay. I suspect a lot of people have been called to discover what that means.

Myth: What does not kill you will make you stronger.

That which does not kill me will probably give me post traumatic stress disorder. Wounds have been cut into my soul which is why I need a healer. What facades do we force each other to wear after a storm has blown through our lives?

Jesus said, let the little children come to me, do not hinder them. A bruised reed he will not break and a smouldering flame he will not put out. Let's stop being adults for a while and just sit in the arms of our gentle Healer.

Myth: Christians have it harder than non-Christians.

Shit happens and I'd rather go through tough times holding His hand than to go through the same tough times on my own. I need a comforter.

"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me - watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly." Jesus Christ.

Myth: It is God's will

Some Christians believe that everything that happens is God's will, and if God is not in control of one molecule in the universe, then He is not God. While I admire their high regard for God's sovereignty, I can't help wondering what they have done with free will.

When scientists studied the weather, they found the system so complex and chaotic, they posited that a butterfly fluttering its wings in New Mexico can cause a snow storm in New York. Everything that happens today is the result of free willed choices made by us and other spiritual beings. We have sinned and we've been sinned against. While God honours these choices by letting them play out in time and space, He works within them to bring the best possible out of each situation.

Myth: You have to fix yourself.

A friend of mine is very fond of saying that whenever she is exhorting us to sin less and be more Christlike. There is a whole slate of stuff we are suppose to be doing: confess, worship, pray, read, give and, most of all, - Stop Sinning.

But these are the images the bible gives me:

• abiding and remaining in Him like a branch on a vine
• drinking from Him and streams of water flowing from me
• laying myself down as a living sacrifice

It's all about being and not doing. Somehow we got the idea that we're suppose to fix ourselves when we've sinned so that we can restore our relationship with God. Some even feel too ashamed to pray or come to God when their lives are a mess.

I believe we have to come to Him in the midst of our failure and simply surrender to His grace. It is He who works in us to will and act according to His good purpose. We are not our saviour. We are not even co-saviours with Christ. We just have to trust He can save us in the midst of our broken lives.

Christian Myth II

God has prepared the perfect spouse for you and you will meet him/her at just the right time

I've challenged people to prove that biblicallly. Most often, women in my cell group will cite Psalm 37:4 "Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart." and the other women will chorus, "the Lord!" right after they finish reading the verse. I've trained them well.

My favourite is the one D. gave me from Isaiah 34:16 "Look in the scroll of the LORD and read: None of these will be missing, not one will lack her mate. For it is his mouth that has given the order, and his Spirit will gather them together."

I didn't have the heart to tell her what the context of that verse is.

Dark Things

I was talking to my pastor about what makes a person Christian. Recently, I've been thinking that being saved and being a Christian are two different things although I've always been taught that they are the same. The general theory is that we're all born separated from God and destined for hell but if we accept Jesus as our savior, we become Christians and we're saved. As Christians, we can get baptized, join a Baptist church and go to heaven.

My pastor, who has a doctorate in theology, would be mortified by the above caricature of his life's mission but, hey, he doesn't read this blog.

I was nineteen when someone finally told me the bad news, uh, I mean the Good News. Because of my sins, I was separated from God by a bottomless, uncrossable abyss. She drew it all out for me on a piece of paper. She even sketched my pathetic attempts to bridge the gap. Then she told me Jesus died for my sins and I can cross over to God by using him as a bridge. This she pinned to the bulletin board above my desk. After about 6 months, I said the prayer, crossed the gap and got up from my knees, a changed person.

That is the nice tidy story I put on church membership forms. And the story I tell when I'm trying to convert someone to Christianity, to save them as I was once saved.

The following is the sidebar.

When I was a child, I went through a phase where I was terrified of that brief period between getting into bed and falling to sleep. It seems that when all was settled and quiet, a Dark Thing would rise up and fill the room with mind numbing fear. I knew that I would be okay if I could sing one of two songs in my head. I don't know how I know; I just knew.

One of the songs was Jesus Loves Me:

Jesus loves me, this I know
For the bible tells me so
Little ones to Him belong
We are weak but He is strong.

The other was Jesus Loves the Little Children

Jesus loves the little children
All the children of the world
Red and yellow, black and white
They are precious in His sight
Jesus loves the little children of the world.

And every time, just before I can think the songs, the Dark Thing will tell me that I will forget the words or I will get the songs mixed up. It will say very convincingly, "this time, it will not work." But every time, through mindless fear, I would start either of the songs in my head and it would always play perfectly to the end. And the Dark Thing would go away.

That was several decades ago. In the intervening years, I accepted Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior, became a Christian, logged many hours of church, bible reading and religious stuff. I know a lot more. But when I look back at that scared child in the dark, I wonder if I am any more saved than she was.

Dark Things II

To me, being a Christian means following Christ. It also means being indwelt by His Spirit. We are in Him and He is in us. Spiritual time-space is weird that way.

About a year after becoming a Christian, I was fully disgusted with my inability to walk the walk. It seems so easy. A few minutes bible reading, a few seconds prayer, tell anyone who asks, don't sin. What could be simpler?

I was a good and disciplined student. I was raised in a conservative Chinese family. Genetically and socially, I was predisposed to be obedient and to stay out of trouble. Working hard and delaying gratification was bred into my bones. Generations of ancestors had far more difficult duties.

But still....

So one night, I got on my knees and asked God to take away whatever it was inside me that was stopping me from doing the things that I ought to do and want to do. For some reason, I was convinced it was something inside me but it wasn't me. After praying a while, my prayer morphed into one phrase, "get out, get out, get out, get out..."

I saw a black thing that was my shape and size leap out of me and run out of the room.

I thought I was losing my mind so I went to bed.

Of course, you're all wondering if I became a paragon of Christian virtue after. The short answer is no, but I have less angst about it.

when cats fight

One morning, as I was blearily coming to consciousness, I became aware of my cat (the fat one pictured to the --->) hoping up and down by my feet, pawing the comforter and the footboard. How cute, she's dancing, I thought. Then I thought, wait a minute, isn't that her litter box routine? Then I saw the poop. Yup, the cat had just used my bed as a litter box. With me still in it.

So I spanked her little bottom and rubbed her face in it.

Of course, I DID NOT do that. Cat psychologists say cats do not benefit from punishment; it only teaches them fear, not what is right or what is wrong. I knew my cats were in the middle of a dominance struggle and this is a feline battle strategy. Alex(andra) was laying claim to Jenny's preferred sleeping spot in the same 'scorched-earth' manner of Alexander the Great. Note to self: never name pets after world conquerors.

I hopped out of bed and washed everything in detergent and enzymatic cleaners to remove all traces of her sin. Then I instilled in them the belief that the bed is not a litter box by feeding and playing with them there. Then I declared an end to their little war by establishing a clear line of dominance. Me first, then Alex (the little rotter) and then sweet Jenny. Whoever said the meek shall inherit the earth? Oh yeah, it was Jesus.

The experts agree that the most aggressive animal should be the dominant one unless I was willing to mess with their brain chemistry by feeding valium to one and serotonin to the other. But there are limits to how far I'm willing to go in the interest of social justice.

Well, it's been a number of years since then and both cats live peaceably, as peaceably as two fallen creatures can, only putting up the occasional fight for my entertainment. Alex now sleeps in the spot she claimed and Jenny has found a new spot by my side. They eat from the same food bowl and drink from the same water dish and have been known to kiss each other in greeting.

I was thinking last night how differently and strangely each of us hear and understand God when this incident bubbled up from my subconscious. Quite often when someone talks about what God said to them, God's words are layered and infused with judgment, condemnation and wrath. Quite often, I think this is not the voice of God I heard.

So somewhere in Mississauga, Ontario lives a crazy cat lady who is patient and understanding with her cats, who never freaks out on them and start beating them up. Somewhere in Mississauga, Ontario, there are two cats who do not spend their days in fear, alternately avoiding and fighting their owner. And their God is far more loving, gracious, kind, merciful and understanding than she is.

son of perdition

perdition: a state of punishment which goes on forever, suffered by evil people after death; damnation; hell

Jesus, when he was praying to his Father said, "While I was with them in the world, I kept them in thy name: those that thou gavest me I have kept, and none of them is lost, but the son of perdition; that the scripture might be fulfilled." [John 17:12, KJV]

The son of perdition he was referring to is Judas, a name that now means "traitor". People naturally assign Judas to hell and most feel that is his proper place. But some are bothered by the other part of the verse that says he was destined from before his birth to betray Jesus.

Judas Isacariot, son of Simon, was a zealot, a member of a political movement in Jesus' day. In between the Old Testament and the New Testament, Israel ended up under Roman rule until Judas Maccabaeus led a successful rebellion and they were independent for nearly 100 glorious years. Hanukkah celebrates one of the miracles from that time when the oil supply in the temple did not run out and the flame kept burning. In those days, you could be proud to be a Jew, an Israelite, a chosen people, a tiny nation who stood up to the Roman Empire.

By the time Judas was born, they were back under Roman rule, hating it and longing for the days of King David, the days of Judas Maccabaeus. Some of the zealots became known as "sicarii" or dagger-men (aka assassins) and because Judas is called Isacariot, he was probably one of them. They fought for independence by stealthily stabbing Romans and Roman sympathizers in crowded places. They saw themselves as freedom fighters. Rome called them terrorists and crucified any they caught.

One day Judas Iscariot encountered a rabbi who said, "Follow me!" and that rabbi was Jesus.

Judas followed for three years and listened to Jesus talk about the coming kingdom of God with a glowing heart. He saw Jesus heal people, cast out demons and raise the dead!! He knew he was in the company of the long awaited Messiah. They traveled up and down Israel and he saw thousands beg Jesus to be their king.

But Jesus always refused. Often just when the crowd reached a hysterical pitch of excitement and it looks like things were gonna happen, Jesus would...fade into the woodwork, disappear, drop out of sight. And Judas had to wait another day.

Every spring, Jews from all over the world come to Jerusalem to celebrate the Passover. At that time, the city of David become a seething mass of people gathered to remember the glorious day when the Angel of Death killed all the Egyptian first born males but "passover"ed the Jews, the glorious day when Moses told Pharaoh, "Let my people go!" To the Romans, it was a nightmare of crowd control.

One Passover, Jesus came to Jerusalem in the same way an Israelite king would in the days of David, riding on a donkey. The people filled the streets, waving palm branches and shouting "Hosanna!" ("Save!") "Blessed is he who comes in the name of the LORD!"  "Blessed is the coming kingdom of our father David!" "Hosanna in the highest!" Judas walked behind with tears in his eyes and his heart bursting with pride and excitement. This is it!

Then Jesus went to the temple and drove out the people who changed Roman coins into Jewish shekels and gouged the Jews in the process. This is it!

Then they gathered in an upper room for the Passover meal and Jesus started talking about serving others and loving one another and...that he was going away; they will be sad but not for long. This is NOT it.

The bible says Satan entered Judas at the feast and he got up from his spot beside Jesus and betrayed him. He sold Jesus to the authorities for 30 pieces of silver  and betrayed him with a kiss in a garden as pretty and peaceful as Eden. Then he watched.

He watched as Jesus went quietly like a lamb to the butcher's block to be mocked, beaten and crucified. He watched his friends flee the scene. He waited for the people to rise up and revolt. Instead, they who shouted "Hosanna!" yesterday now shouted, "Crucify him!" He watched his dream die and he too died. He had betrayed an innocent man.

He returned the money and he hung himself. Prophecy fulfilled.

But I don't think Judas is rotting in hell. A better rendition of what Jesus said is "While I was with them, I protected them and kept them safe by that name you gave me. None has been lost except the one doomed to destruction so that Scripture would be fulfilled." meaning Satan was all out to kill Jesus and his disciples but all the disciples, except Judas, will survive that horrific night.

On the cross, Jesus said, "Father forgive them for they know not what they do." He said it for the Roman soldiers who were executing him, for the nation of Israel who had rejected him, for his disciples who had abandoned him, for the thief beside him who died believing and for the other thief beside him who died cursing. And he said it for Judas.

Judas: zealot, sicarii, friend, betrayer, human. It was for such a person as he that God came in person to save. Judas is one of us.

for Adam
The morning after Palm Sunday, 2005

son of perdition con't

Simon Peter also betrayed Jesus that night when he denied him three times. He had sworn earlier that evening that he would never, ever disown him. Other people might turn chicken and flee but not he! He would rather die first. He will be the one to go down fighting by Jesus' side.

Like Judas, he didn't realize what he was doing as he was doing it. Like Judas, he realized what he had done after he did it and was absolutely devastated. The gospels said he wept bitterly. The only difference between Peter and Judas is that Peter didn't kill himself. He lived to see a new morning. He saw the empty tomb. He saw Jesus alive again. He received forgiveness, blessing and a new life.

On the night of betrayals, Jesus told him, "Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.”

In the midst of our failure and shattered dreams, Jesus also says to us: "I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers."

eternal punishment and eternal life

There is a parable of Jesus in Matthew 25:31-46 that is problematic for a lot of Christians.

Non Christians have no problems with this parable because it seems obvious that good people, regardless of religious affiliation, will go to heaven and bad people will go to hell. In fact, this parable is rather comforting because Jesus is saying it's the little acts of kindness that we're all capable of doing that gets us into his good grace, not the heroic 'walk on glass and get burnt at the stake' martyrdom stuff of saints. You don't have to be Mother Theresa or the Pope to get in; you could help out at the food bank.

The problem Evangelical Christians have with this parable is because we believe we're saved by grace through faith alone. It is Martin Luther's battle cry sola fide - faith alone. I have a problem with this parable because I don't believe in eternal damnation.

The key to this parable is found in the epistle 1 John, particularly the verse 1 John 1:2. "The life appeared; we have seen it and testify to it, and we proclaim to you the eternal life, which was with the Father and has appeared to us."

Eternal life is Jesus Christ. It is the incarnation. It is us in Him and He in us. If we do good, we get Him as our reward. Being kind and loving to someone is practicing His presence. Being cruel means not getting him or getting the other guy which counts as the opposite concept, eternal punishment. Eternal life begins right now with our next act of lovingkindness.

This is because God is Love and Love gives. God gave us everything He had: His Son to show us who He is; His Spirit to guide and comfort us; and Himself to love and father us. We are all His children.

Both Paul and Jesus said that if we loved God with all our heart, soul, strength and mind and if we loved our neighbour as ourselves, we fulfill all the commandments. The odd thing I've found when teaching people this concept is that some believe that loving God means hating certain people like Muslims or homosexuals. To my consternation, I found that I could not convince them that we love God by loving others and we love others by loving God. In the end, I had to drop God from the equation and say, "When caught in a moral dilemma, do the most loving thing for the people involved." I hope someday I can put God back in but I'll have to change who people believe God is and that is a herculean task.

Just in case that sounds like a cop out (which it is, by the way)....

A friend introduced me to a group who believes God is angry all the time against sinners. (Thanks Lance) The surprise is they are more gracious and loving than their God. But they believe loving God means hating those He (or so they believe) hates and their hate is unleavened by mercy or grace because they believe God is unrelenting in His judgment. They were the ones who got me thinking about Matthew 25 because they threw it to me along with other biblical passages, all in the Authorized King James Version, which had double the references to hell than my bible. So I do owe them thanks for this post.

"Luke, don't give in to hate. That leads to the Dark Side." Obi-Wan Kenobi

Faith

Preachers quite often speak of faith as if it is no big deal. They describe it as easy as sitting on a chair. "Don't you show you have faith in the chair every time you sit down?" they ask the congregation. The "you fool" is implied.

The thing is, I have over 40 years experience with chairs. I know chairs. I've sat in many chairs. I can size up an article in an intuitive flash and know if I want to sit on it. What about someone who has never sat on a chair before or who has had chairs pulled from under him just as he committed himself to sitting down?

To me, faith is a gift and like all spiritual gifts, it comes to us in seed form to be planted and tended.

Abraham is a hero in the hall of faith. But he told white lies about Sarah being his sister which resulted in two different kings taking her into their harem. He thought that if the kings knew Sarah was his wife, they would kill him. Instead God had to rescue the future mother of a great nation from a compromising situation not once but twice. Abraham also allowed Sarah to talk him into her Hagar scheme even though it was a bad idea. God stepped in again to rescue Hagar after Sarah realized it was a bad idea and drove her out. He also blessed Ismael because he is Abraham's son.

So Abraham did not trust God 24/7 with everything important to him. But Abraham was a man who spoke to God face to face as a man speaks to a friend and over the years, faith and trust grew and matured.

Abraham was more than 100 years old when his great test of faith came. God asked him to take his son, his only son, Isaac, whom he loved, and sacrifice him on Moriah as a burnt offering and Abraham obeyed. Now, if he went thinking "what God is asking me to do is wrong and immoral but I must do it anyway because I fear Him", I believe he would have failed his test of faith. He would have gone up the mountain believing he is a better person than God. God is just the bigger person.

I believe he went up thinking, 'I know God is good and what He asks of me must also be good. Even though I don't understand yet I will trust Him.' That is true faith.

"Know therefore that the LORD your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commands." We are a part of the thousand generations of Abraham, a man who loved and obeyed God.

God stopped Abraham and substituted a ram for Isaac. Centuries later, our Triune God returned to the same area. Another Father laid His Son down as a sacrifice. Another Son said not my will but yours be done. 

Faith con't

My pastor has an earned doctorate in theology from the University of Toronto. He did it while pastoring a church and being a father to four children and it took many years. For his graduation, his wife planned a huge surprise party with all their friends and family. That morning, he went golfing with the person designated to bring him to the party at the proper hour. Towards the end of their game, his friend teed off and the ball sliced viciously around and smashed into his chin, opening up a gash that poured out blood. His friend debated whether to rush him to the emergency room or to haul the poor guy to the party and chose the party. That was how they made their entrance. After enduring lots of bad jokes and pictures, his friend took him to the hospital while everyone partied on. He said wryly, 'This is just one more thing I will have to ask God about.'

But like Abraham he also said, I don't understand but I believe.

Another pastor has a wife who died unexpectedly in a car accident. He said, don't ask me how I am because you don't want to know. The pain is unendurable.

But like Abraham, he too does not understand but he believes.

A friend's son-in-law became suddenly ill. She called all her friends to pray and she has worldwide contacts. But he died in a just a few days. Her daughter collapsed at the hospital with heart failure, the broken heart syndrome. She too will have to climb a mountain and say I don't understand but I believe.

[added March 19,2005. Her pastor quoted C.H. Spurgeon during the funeral:]

God is too good to be unkind.
He is too wise to be confused.
If I cannot trace his hand,
I can always trust His heart.

In the midst of his suffering Job said, "Though he slay me, yet will I hope in him."

And who is this who inspires such trust from these people? Someone whose face they know and whose voice they've heard. Someone who has walked with them for years. Someone whose heart they know is good.

Blood, blood everywhere!

I spent some time today trying to convince someone that God is not an ANGRY GOD who needs blood sacrifices to appease Him. I didn't succeed with him or the listeners.

God can forgive anyone for anything anytime He wants. Jesus forgave the paralytic who was lowered through the roof. I don't think either he or his friends were seeking forgiveness when they ruined that house. God even forgave the Ninevites when they repented, much to Jonah's disgust.

When God decided to shape Israel into the "womb that will earth Him" [Torrance], He did not start with a blank slate. He had a rabble who was brought out of Egypt. Some of the objects and patterns of worship He instituted at Mount Sinai have a distinctly Egyptian flavour. It was something familiar for an uprooted people.

Many religious cultures offer animal and human sacrifices to their gods. They believe all aspects of life is influenced by some kind of deity and it was necessary to appease or feed this god in order to have peace and prosperity.

But YHWH is different. He is the God of everything, everyone and everywhere. We don't feed Him; He feeds us. The sacrifices He required from His people were thanksgiving for what He has blessed them with, and...their sins. People laid hands on their sin offering, opened its veins and splashed the blood around, and then burnt their sins and the animal on the altar. As the smoke rose, forgiveness and blessing flowed back from God. The priest would say to the people, "The LORD bless you and keep you; the LORD make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the LORD turn his face toward you and give you peace."

This is because God is Love and Love is about relationship.

Later Love stepped in when everything was ready and took the place of the sin bearing animal. Our sins were laid on Him and it was His blood that got splashed around.

Much later still we learn that blood fights diseases and heals wounds. It brings nutrients to every part of our body and removes waste by-products. Any part that is cut from its blood supply dies.

male and female sacrifices

being a continuation of the post above
some musings on the relative worth the bible gives to males and females.

Only males without blemish are acceptable as animal sacrifices. A common person could offer a female goat or lamb for their sin offering. The usual explanation is that they prefigured Jesus Christ, the ultimate perfect sacrifice for our sins.

I think it's wise animal husbandry. Male animals are usually eaten. Female animals are kept for milk and breeding along with a few (lucky) males. Intact males are often difficult to handle. Animals, I mean. Really!

Fellowship offerings can be an animal of either sex. It is a voluntary act of worship, a celebratory party with the local Levites because God is good and life can be sweet.

Shaolin Soccer

A few days ago, my family and I watched a goofy yet profound movie called Shaolin Soccer. A group of Shaolin monks, after spending years learning the Shaolin way of life and promising their master to do good and promote the Shaolin philosophy, ends up living among the dregs of Hong Kong society, just barely scraping by. Well, one guy does well as a businessman but only by living a life that totally denies everything Shaolin.

One monk who has not given up, kept coming up with schemes to get their message across to the busy and pre-occupied people of Hong Kong. As he explained, if people lived the Shaolin way, they could avoid injury should they step on a banana skin, park cars with ease in Hong Kong's streets and do their mundane jobs with speed and grace. His explanation is illustrated by a goofy sequence of people attempting all that with and without Shaolin. At one time he manages to recruit one of his brothers to sing songs about Shaolin in a bar which quickly devolve into a riot. As they are beaten up, they wondered if their songs were too "directional". Basically, his brothers avoid him whenever they can.

He makes his living as a rag picker, the lowest of the low in Hong Kong, without even enough change to buy sweet buns. One day, he sees a young bun maker using chi and Tao at work. Her motions are sheer poetry and dance and he bursts into song and tells her she is beautiful. Since she has purulent, seeping acne, she thinks he is crazy. She spends all her time hiding behind her hair, not looking anyone in the eyes and making amazing sweet buns.

Everyone at the shop and the monk breaks into a really goofy dance sequence reminiscent of Michael Jackson etc. while the bun girl looks on.

Eventually, the guys stumble onto soccer and realize they are amazing and unbeatable as a team. Their chi is so strong, the ball bursts into flames as it soars through the air. They enter a tournament and defeat scoffers and demons. (In Chinese mythology, demons are beautiful women with facial hair and yes, there is a hilarious scene of them playing against these demons.)

In the final match, they meet Team Evil, owned by someone who is the Chinese version of Satan.

Well, you'll have to watch the rest of the movie to see how it turned out. The bun making girl saves the day for them.

There are several themes running through this movie: incorporating spirituality in daily life; the strength of brotherhood; how despair can make us forget who we are meant to be; how beauty is both inside us and all around us.

All throughout the movie, I kept thinking this is a great metaphor of Christians living in Canada. Of course, I don't think that's what the film makers had in mind when they made this movie. :-)

Gay Marriages

And now for something totally different...

When Brian McLaren was asked about gay marriages, he said, "You know what, the thing that breaks my heart is that there's no way I can answer it without hurting someone on either side." I love that answer. He has wrestled with the issue and he knows the impact his answers will have on us.

But fools rush in where angels fear to tread and I am such a fool.

There are at two concepts of marriage.

Marriage as instituted by God is a reflection of the imago dei, a reflection of Himself. We are made in His image, both male and female, and in marriage, the two become one bonded by Love. In marriage, we create: the love, the children, the life. It is a picture of our Triune God.

The other concept of marriage is the legal one and it is under the province of our governments. They define it and regulate it. And their primary, God given mandate is justice. As Gerald Vandezande is fond of saying, justice is not 'just us'. A society is judged by how she treats the least of her citizens.

A lot of marriages, even Christian marriages, are not good reflections of the imago dei. Some are broken, abusive and/or evil. But this reality does not mar the ideal. Single people and childless couples also bear the image of God especially when they love one another and create something good in this world. Can we truly say that two gay persons who promise to love and honour each other can not reflect God's image?

Jesus said there will be no marriage in heaven so this point will eventually become moot.

I think the greatest difficulty for Christians is the don't ask, don't tell and don't do policy. If gay Christians can not marry, then they can not have sex. This issue forces us to deal with people like Mel White and Bishop Robinson, sincere and mature Christians who have struggled with their identity and concluded that God loves them as they are.

This is where I'm currently stuck. I know some people who can see angels and demons and I want to ask them what they see when they look at a gay person and gay couples. This is where I want to walk by sight and not by faith.

The only impression I get from my heavenly Father is that it's not what others do that matters; it is how I treat them, how I respond that matters most to Him.

Love in Sodom and Gomorrah

The story begins with the LORD saying, "The outcry against Sodom and Gomorrah is so great and their sin so grievous that I will go down and see if what they have done is as bad as the outcry that has reached me. If not, I will know."

This is a rather odd statement from One who is omniscient. God does know everything but one thing is still unknown and that is how the people in Sodom and Gomorrah will react when the holy presence of Love appears in their midst. So God decides to visit Sodom and Gomorrah in the manifest, tangible form of two angels.

The angels enter Sodom and Lot (perhaps the only righteous man in the whole region) recognizes them and asks them to stay in his home. The angels have every intention of spending the night in the town square but Lot is so insistent, they follow him. Later that night, men of Sodom surround Lot's home and say, "Where are the men who came to you tonight? Bring them out to us so that we can have sex with them."

So the answer to the question, "How will the people react if Love's holy presence appeared in their midst?" would be, "They will try to:
a) dominate, master and own it like it was one of their chattels?
b) destroy and ruin it like pigs trampling pearls?
c) experience, enjoy and know it?

Anyway the scene was getting rather ugly and threatening and Lot goes outside to 'reason' with the crowd. He even offers his own virgin daughters as substitutes for them to dominate, master, own, destroy, ruin, experience, enjoy and know. This makes Lot sound unnatural, unfatherly and craven but give the man credit for standing outside and trying.

I think we often make the same mistake Lot did in trying to protect God from the people around us, from spending the night in the town square. We even sacrifice ourselves and our families to ensure He doesn't have to deal with anything unclean or unpleasant because He is too holy to look upon sin. But He does not need our protection. The angels pull Lot inside and strike the men outside with blindness.

For me, the moral of the story is that God does not need our protection. He can take care of Himself. We should just let Him spend the night in the middle of our city and let the people meet Him. Sure things could get weird, unpleasant, even ugly. But then again, we may be pleasantly surprised.

Love's Hate

"Jacob I loved, but Esau I hated" Romans 9:13

A look at the life of a man God hated

Before Esau was born, God said he would be destined to be less than his younger brother.

Esau was a man's man, born with a generous covering of red hair. He lived with gusto and for the moment, a skilled hunter, at home in open spaces. One day when he was famished, he sold his birthright (whatever) for a bowl of stick-to-your-ribs stew. His father loved him best which is the usual case when you're the first born son.

His mother loved Jacob and together they tricked his father into getting the blessing meant for the first born. It was basically inheritance of the world including the servitude of his brother. When Esau finally showed up for his blessing, this is what he got: his dwelling will be away from the earth's richness, away from the dew of heaven; he will live by the sword; he will serve his brother; BUT when the time is right, he will break free.

Needless to say Esau was murderously angry and Jacob left town. Life for Esau went on as usual. He had married Judith and Basemath, both Hittites which his mom and dad did not like, and later Mahalath, whom they did. They gave birth to a bunch of kids and settled in Edom, in the hill country of Seir, their very own Promised Land. When Jacob returned, Esau could gather 400 men, a veritable army, to meet the rascal but Jacob won him over with a charming array of gifts. Esau, ever the guileless one, wept when he hugged Jacob and refused the gifts because he already had plenty. In fact, the two brothers could not live in the same area as they both had too much lifestock and people. The last time we see the brothers together is at their father's funeral.

Esau became known as the father of the Edomites and they lived securely on their land while the Israelites ended up as slaves in Egypt for 400 years. As the Israelites passed by Seir on the way to their Promised Land they were told that: God has given this land to Esau; these people were their brothers; they must not start a conflict here; and they had to pay for everything they used.

When I hate someone, I wish them all sorts of evil. It is easy to transfer that kind of thinking to God and easy to imagine what horror awaits a person whom God hates. But there is a major difference between my hate and God's hate. I have the capacity to plan and do evil. God can't. There is no darkness in Him.

Love's hate is more like benign neglect, like letting a child grow wild like a weed instead of guiding and educating him. Jacob, whom God loved, was being shaped into the 'womb that will earth Him' as Torrance puts it. In the process he had to leave his home, wrestle with God, end up in slavery, get the Law, endure punishing years in the desert, enter the Promised Land, fight for every bloody inch of it, live precariously and in much terror through most of his time there, get exiled to Babylon, come back to a demolished city and temple, end up under Roman rule.

This is so Love's incarnation will have it's proper setting and context. This is what is meant to be loved by Love. Being hated by Love is not that bad after all. Not that bad at all.

Love's Wrath II

"When they came to the threshing floor of Nacon, Uzzah reached out and took hold of the ark of God, because the oxen stumbled. The LORD's anger burned against Uzzah because of his irreverent act; therefore God struck him down and he died there beside the ark of God."
2 Samuel 6:6-7

This story is one of the most difficult for all of us who believe God is Love. The usual explanations are:
a) Uzzah ought to have known better because the bible says the ark can only be carried on poles by Levites. It should not have been on an ox cart in the first place.
b) Uzzah's act was irreverent and it defiled God's holiness. He had to die so that the Israelites will continue to show proper respect for the ark.

I have problems with either explanation. The Lord did not strike dead the people who picked up the ark at Uzzah's home and placed it on the cart. He didn't strike dead the Philistines who captured it in the first place and moved it from place to place. They did suffer for having the ark in their midst but the people who carried it did not die instantly or the ark could not have toured the Philistine cities. He didn't strike dead the Israelites who brought the ark to battle which began this whole episode even though God did not sanction this irreverent act.

Uzzah acted instinctively with an impulse to protect. The ark stayed at his family home for 20 years and his brother, Eleazar was consecrated to guard it when it first arrived. Uzzah and his brother Ahio were responsible for bringing it to Jerusalem. He knew about the ark and he was doing his job.

I do take seriously the holiness of God but I consider that to be an aspect of His Love, not a separate characteristic so I have trouble with the second explanation as well. The Lord can dial up or tone down His Presence at will. He is not tied to the ark like some genie caught in a bottle and does not have to be there in full force or even there at all.

His Spirit entered people like Kings Saul and David and the prophets and He did not kill them. Even when Saul performed the sacrifices. Even when David committed adultery and murder. Even when Elijah lost faith. Elijah also didn't do two of the three things God told him to on Mount Horeb but God still took him up to heaven in His fiery chariot but that's another blog all together.

When Joab was running from King Solomon, he fled to the tent of meeting and took hold of the horns of the altar. The Lord didn't strike him down but Benaiah did on King Solomon's command. The Lord didn't strike down either Benaiah or Solomon for spilling human blood inside the tent. When King Solomon first built the temple and the ark was brought in, the Lord dialed up His presence so high, the priests could not perform their service because His glory filled the temple.

Theologians have always referred to God as both transcendent and immanent; both far above us and very near to us.

I have a different explanation for Uzzah's death. I believe that there are different consequences to the same action. Sometimes you run a red light and nothing happens; sometimes you run a red light and you kill another person. One time it is as it you didn't do anything; another time you've affected adversely a number of lives. There are consequences for Uzzah's act that has nothing to do with Uzzah himself, consequences that we don't know and can't imagine. God, who is Love, can see what Uzzah had invoked for himself and for those near him so in His mercy decided it was best to remove Uzzah from the scene even though it hurt King David and will continue to hurt and confuse generations of Jews and Christians. Sometimes mercy is severe and Love follows inscrutable reasons.

I believe Uzzah lives. He lives with God. And he lives in this story that confounds us and asks us so who do you say that I AM and what do you say the bible says about Me?

Love's Wrath

There is such a difference between the God of the Old Testament and 'the God as revealed by Jesus Christ in the New Testament' that some people
a) theorize they are two different gods
b) believe Jesus' crucifixion changed God into a more mellow Person
c) postulate that the OT prophets and writers got it wrong and part of Jesus' mission was to fix that
d) read only the New Testament and Psalms

For most Evangelicals, none of the above are palatable options. God's wrath breaks out with depressing regularity against His children and they suffer all kinds of horrific fates, plagues and deaths. It is hard to see the One who is Love in the Old Testament. It is hard even to see the One described by Mr. Beaver as not safe but good.

We handle this God by believing
a) all those people in the bible deserve whatever befell them and
b) thank God this will never happen to us because we are saved.

What if we stripped off this mind numbing cocoon and searched for Love in these stories?

I believe that loving someone means desiring the best for that person and Love has a steel backbone. C. Baxter Kruger said God's wrath is His NO! to a world turning away from Him and choosing to create darkness and chaos. Wrath is Love experienced when we're in the midst of rebellion. Wrath is Love in zealous pursuit when we try to scuttle away like cockroaches from light. Wrath is Love's grief over what we have done to ourselves and to our brothers.

King David was a man after God's own heart; Israel's psalmist really knew what God is like. Once he was given a choice of punishment: three years of famine, three months of fleeing from his enemies or three days of plague. He replied, "Let us fall into the hands of the LORD, for his mercy is great; but do not let me fall into the hands of men."